There has been much said and written lately that debunks the notion that young girls and women should aspire to be a wife. The critics of marriage argue that aiming to become someone’s property is an outdated mindset and that women today are pass that.

I absolutely disagree! Why would I choose to be in a relationship with a man that I do not see a forever with? And why would I see a forever with him as his girlfriend or significant other?

God did not create me in his likeness to be someone’s play thing, or someone’s one day of the week, or someone’s “wifey”……

He created Me to be Chocolate’s wife! (that’s the point blank and the period!!)

I take pride in being his wife, carrying his last name and in the future his child.
I take immense pleasure in continuing to build our home, life and legacy together as a single unit under covenant with God that we will leave for future generations.
We both take accountability for each other and the responsibilities tasked to us to be an example for not just our generation but generations to come.

Being a “wife” is not just a title, it is not a role to be taken lightly nor is it a status symbol to be boastful about or to place yourself on a hierarchy above anyone else.

I just want to appeal to any and everyone who believes that there’s no value in marriage.

From a biblical perspective, let’s take it all the way back to Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis, first God created Adam, they he created Eve from the rib of Adam to be his wife. That alone assures us that when God created the woman, it was in design to compliment and be the helpmate to the man.

I shared that when I met Chocolate, I knew he would be my husband. It would take us 10 years to make it to the altar but that’s because we both knew there was growth that had to take place from both of us before we should proceed and with him being a little of …. um…let’s call him a “late adapter”, it took some time!
But those 10 years were worth the wait! That’s my best friend (Go, Best Friend)!

There are numerous resources that try to tell you how to be a “good wife” when the focus should be on how to be the best version of yourself, it should focus on self-love, self-care and self-preservation. We have to find happiness within ourselves  before we understand how we desire to be loved and before we can adequately love another person.

Marriage does not automatically equate to happiness! It requires great work! Understanding who you are and what your needs are is instrumental in the building of the foundation of your marriage.

A few years ago one of my sisters and I were in Puerto Rico and at that time she had been dating her boyfriend for just about 3 months and she was telling me how she had already expressed to him in their very early conversations that she was solely dating for a purpose (marriage) and if he was not going to date her with the intention of sharing forever with her, then they needed not to continue their courtship.

I was so proud of her for knowing and communicating her expectations upfront. She had decided after a couple of previous relationships and some time being single that she would be purposeful in her steps from that point forward.  You can alleviate a lot of miscommunication, confusion, heartache and wasted time by being clear of what your goals are in the beginning of any relationship.

Sis got her ring last year and I am so happy for her! She is a great example of working on yourself first, and identifying what your heart desires and working towards that desire.

Now, should you choose to remain single and focus on yourself, I wish you all the best! I believe there are times when solitude is necessary. And I do not for one minute believe that you cannot be content while single.  You and only you know when and if you want to pursue forever with someone.

My appeal to you is to know there is great value in marriage.  Just look up Ephesians 5:25-32