This song has been in my spirit for the last week!

“Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. My Life is Yours!”

It’s so easy for me to say that these days, because there is truly peace when I say yes! Even if we don’t see it immediately, there is peace when we say YES!

There have been times when I have not said yes and have not been obedient, extending a particular period of frustration.

My obedience really came full circle on December 17, 2011 when I felt an urgent command to call my grandmother, I was thinking I would just call her another day when God was saying no, call her right now. So I did!
I thank God so much for knowing what the future held and knowing that I needed that conversation and testimony of obedience because that call would be the last time I spoke to her as she passed away the very next day.
I would have forever been ridden with regret had I not spoke to her that last time when I knew that the spirit of the Lord had spoken.

Since then, more than ever I strive to live a life of obedience, spending time in prayer, in song and in the word focusing on my relationship with God so I can know for myself when he has spoken, and what it is he’s calling me to do.

I do not always get it right though. In early 2016 I kept being told to reach out to a friend that I had not spoken to in 6 years and I had shared it with my husband and a couple others and they told me that it was just me needing closure on that friendship so I brushed it off although it kept coming back several times. I knew that I was suppose to do it but I made up excuses as why not to do it instead of listening to the command I was given.

Christmas Day 2016, my friend’s husband posted a picture of her holding a sign saying she had just completed her last round of chemo after having been diagnosed with breast cancer that past August. I was immediately consumed with regret!

I called my husband immediately to ask if he had seen the post, he had not, so I shared with him what was posted and he knew immediately that I was in a state of remorse. I knew I was suppose to contact her way before her diagnosis took place but I had listened to everyone but God.

Now, I needed to act on the orders I had been given almost a year prior but now it would look like I was making contact because of the diagnosis versus because it was past time to bury whatever issues that had led us to the point of having no contact with each other.
I had missed out on being able to be a shoulder to lean on, a prayer partner and advocate to cheer her on while she fought the good fight and kicked cancer’s butt, because I was not obedient!

What I have truly gained discernment on the last few years is that sometimes God calls us to places and people not for what it will do for us but what we can do for others.

He has equipped me with to be encouraging, to be the voice of reason, to be a prayer warrior, and hopeful in the most hopeless of situations. I could have been sitting with her day or night to lift her spirits, make her laugh or as just a reminder that God was present during every treatment, every sleepless night, every step of the battle.

I had failed this test.

That’s a lesson I will keep close to me forever, especially during those times I find myself not wanting to do what God is calling me to do.

I want a life with no additional regrets, I want to get to those gates and here Him say “Well Done”..

As the song says ” I’ll just say YES!, you lead the way, I’m not afraid of what means for me to say, that this life You gave is not my own, I’m trusting you to hear my Yes and lead me on!”