I have sat on the thoughts I am about to type out for quite some time. It’s time to put it out there and release it.

In regards to the social climate we are in right now, I have heard so many people say that we don’t have to deal with racism here in Northern Virginia (NoVa).

While I do agree that the outright, in your face, unabashed racism that runs rapid in the south is not something I have endured, make no mistake, there is still social injustice, systemic racism as well as closet racism happening everyday right here in NoVa.

All my life I have befriended people of all nationalities. The qualification to be in my life has to do with your heart and not your ethnicity!

I remember as a child being able to go to some of my friends’ homes who did not look like me or grow up like me but they were not allowed to mine. I remember one time I went to someone’s house who was a really close friend of mine and even as a child I could sense that I was being tolerated to humor their child but had the parents had their way, I would never had been welcomed in their home. Nonetheless, to this day I am still friends with the person and just pray that over time her parents have heartened out their hearts.

When I was in high school one of my teachers told me that the odds of being a teenage mother were higher for me than obtaining a 4 year degree. I denounced her statement as there is only 1 author of my life’s story.

When I started doing hair in the salon in 1999, there would be people who would request that anyone do their hair besides me and I just took it in stride. I was the bomb so it was clearly their loss! There was one particular incident that stood out, it was on a Sunday and my friend who was a receptionist for us at the time had told a child who had come in after hours that we were closed.

He walked outside to the car that was parked directly in front of our door and relayed the message to who I assume was his mom, the lady had him come back in and get a business card so she could call us. She then called in and berated my friend and I got on the phone and explained that we were closed and they were welcome to come in the next day. She yelled a lot of nonsense and I kept apologizing that they missed us during our operating hours but we were in fact closed for the day. She told me that my problem is that “I’m a nigger trying to tell her something.” 20 years later I have never forgot her or that interaction.

Believe it or not the exchange made me sad. I was disappointed that she acted like that when the hours were clearly on the door and from her view point she could see the clock on the wall should she not have had one herself and she chose to say such disrespectful things in front of her young and impressionable son. I can only pray that he had a better role model in his life.

Later on in my career, I was a high performing salon leader and at a meeting with my whole salon team, my district leader, regional leader and the CEO of the company and some people on my team were expressing dissatisfaction with some of the leadership and the CEO immediately responded that if I am not a good leader that they would fire me and replace me in no time!! In front of my whole team, he disrespected me like that. Now, the kicker is.. he never asked any follow-up questions, he just automatically sought to replace my beautiful brown ass without a second thought.

When the team responded that they were not referring to me and that they in fact loved me, he then wanted to have a private conversation with those that were upset because he then knew their dissatisfaction had to do with someone who did not look like me.

During this same time I had a boss who was a nightmare! She did everything she could to break me! She knew nothing about me being a child of the most high, tsk.

Shortly before my wedding in 2010 she was upset about something I did that she had actually told me to do and when I showed her on email where she told me to do it, she wrote me up and told me she would fire me before my wedding. I will not lie, I let her have it y’all! She could address whatever she chose to about anything that took place inside them walls but my private life was off limits! It was like she wanted to taunt me that if she fired me my wedding would not go forth. She knew she had went too far after I went off because believe it or not I am usually a peacemaker but not on that day!

The following year, my grandmother departed from her earthly on December 18th and we had her service on December 23rd because she loved Christmas so much and my grandfather did not want to do her services on Christmas Eve or day so we did it on the 23rd. Would y’all believe that she made me drive back from N.C. that night after the services so that I could be at work on the 24th. A day that she knew based on previous years of trend that we were not busy but even if we were, my whole world had been rocked and I had to leave the repast and take a 4 hr drive back home. Meanwhile, a salon leader who looked like her was granted off during this same time to go on a ski trip! I tell y’all no lies, this was my real life!

To be continued….