There are plenty of nights where I find my heart heavy and burdened with the woes and lows of life.
It’s at night when I start to weigh failures and things I would do differently and I busy my mind to the point that I am restless and up off and on throughout the night.
On most nights, at some point I start to process the lessons I’ve learned thus far from whatever experiences are weighing on me, I start forming a plan of action for the days ahead and then I try again to rest.
Some nights after some 1 on 1 time with God, I am able to rest.
Then there are other nights, where I am laden with my thoughts not even seeking discernment, instead trying to decipher my next steps for myself which leaves me very tired for the day ahead as sleep never comes for an adequate amount of time for me to feel rested.
Most recently,Kinsley’s birthday was yesterday and as we approached this joyous occasion, the grief of her loss was all consuming once again. We are reminded of the fight she endured her short time here on earth and all the heartache and eventual heartbreak we experienced when she was called home. We realize that even a year later we still have no answers as to the complications of her health and have to start to accept that we may never get them on this side. Grief is the price we pay for love! And she is loved!
I understand that nights like this are segments of time. Segments that will come and go forever and as I am reminded in Psalms 30: weeping may endure for the night, but Joy comes in the morning!
I heard a Pastor say that it’s important to note that we weep at night for those Joyful mornings. That, with the joy of a new morning we leave behind the hurt of the night!
We have to say “good night” to our hurt so we can say “good morning” to our healing!
He shared that some people are still in the “night” of their experience when it’s now morning! We cannot carry that weight day and day out without any repercussions. This is how we make ourselves sick mentally, physically and spiritually.
So on those nights when we find ourselves needing to weep, afterwards we have to find a way to Praise God through the sorrow.
We thank God that Kinsley lived! We thank God that she taught us that the size you are does not equate to the fight within, Kinsley fought harder to stay here with us than people 100 times her size! he brought us closer together as a family and closer to God. Her life was purposeful!
I say that here in text, and share verbally with everyone that I share her story with that though the ending was not what we would have liked we are still grateful that she lived. She is a testimony for all that loved her.